FACTS ABOUT ME
FACTS ABOUT ME
I MOVED TO EARTH FROM SATURN IN 1985
It was a long time ago and so I can’t remember much about Saturn. My parents decided to move closer to the sun. It’s a lot warmer on earth.
MOUNTAINS ARE MY FAVOURITE THINGS ON EARTH
Not only are they incredible beautiful, but they’re also the closest points to Saturn on the planet.
I AM 70% MILKSHAKE
Saturnites (as people from Saturn are called) are just like humans except our diet is made up mainly of milkshake. Specifically chocolate flavour.
MY ENEMIES ARE BANANAS
Bananas and Saturnites are sworn enemies. No one knows exactly why but I think it’s to do with an argument about who grows faster (Saturnites do obviously).
If Saturnites and bananas ever meet they stare moodily at each other for up to three and a half minutes.
Ok fine. Those facts might not be completely true. But I do really like chocolate milkshakes and mountains. And I really don’t like bananas.
I live in south-east London with my wife and three children. As far as I’m aware I don’t come from Saturn, but you never know…