CHRISTMAS POEMS

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A Letter FROM Father Christmas

By Jonathan Sellars

 

Each year many millions of letters

Arrive in great sacks at my door,

And it takes me a week to climb up to the top

Of the mountain they make on my floor,

 

I read every one, I note every wish,

It takes quite a while but I do,

Then me and my elves do the best that we can

To make all those wishes come true,

 

But, you wouldn’t believe the requests I receive,

The wishes that some children make,

I’ve been asked for a ghost that will only haunt cheese,

For a two-hundred-metre-long snake,

For a tree made of soup,

For a sabre-toothed shark,

For four unicorn nose hairs that glow in the dark,

For a sausage that flies,

For a bottom that talks,

For an active volcano that does funny walks,

For alien snot,

For a shed on the moon,

And a thumb-sized baboon that can play the bassoon,

 

These impossible things are too hard to deliver,

And that’s why I’m writing to plead,

This Christmas don’t wish for the things that you want,

Just wish for the things that you need.

The Trick

By Jonathan Sellars

 

Since time began

Me and my brother

Have always enjoyed playing tricks on each other,

He’s toasted my homework,

I’ve frozen his bed,

He’s filled hats with glue so they’ve stuck to my head,

I’ve sold all his shoes,

He’s thrown mine away,

But the trick I’m most proud of was last Christmas day,

 

Just before dawn

Once Santa had been,

I tip toed downstairs, incognito, unseen,

I gathered his presents

And neat as could be

Relabelled each one so they all said for me,

Then I went poking

Around in the bin,

And wrapped up some rubbish, all labelled for him,

 

Oh how I laughed

As he opened his gifts

Of snot-splattered tissues and old soggy crisps,

And oh how he raged,

How he banged on the walls,

As I unwrapped two robots, two skateboards, two balls,

I’m still smiling now

Though I’m starting to fear

I won’t be on Santa Claus’s Nice List this year!