A Time Waster

By Jonathan Sellars

I’m wonderful at wasting time, than me there’s no one greater,

I’m the Duke of Dawdling, I’m the Great Procrastinator.

I dilly-dally daily, I’m immensely inefficient,

At doing even basic tasks I’m dreadfully deficient.

I’m blessed with an attention span that’s so minutely small

I can’t prevent myself from blankly gawping at the wall,

Or staring out the window, or picking at my nose,

Or dreaming little daydreams, or itching itchy toes,

Or searching useless things like ‘is my name on Wikipedia?’,

Or writing silly rhymes that I can post on social media.

What’s more, I‘ve often wasted time by simply just a-pondering,

How much of my life is all this time-wasting a-squandering?

But then I think, who cares? Wasting time’s just what I do,

And now you’ve read this poem, well, I’ve wasted your time too.